Friday, January 4, 2008

Do you have a base for this?

When I was 17 or so, I was on this weird liquid diet where I ate/drank only 5 or 6 shakes per day. My brother and I were visiting our friend S and passing through the home of some other friends, MJ & D. At the time, I didn't know these other friends very well. I knew them mostly because we are part of the same faith.

I had my disgusting powder to make my disgusting shakes with me. They were best cold and blended up with ice and diet cream soda. Sometimes I had to make do with water, or with them not really blended. This was gross. Since we were traveling, I didn't have any diet soda with me. But I needed to make one of my shakes and since we were at someone's home, I figured I could at least have it blended up. So I looked around for the blender and found it, or at least the top part, the part you put the liquid in. I was holding my little packet of powder and the top of the blender and was looking around for the bottom of the blender. I asked MJ, the lady of the house, "Do you have a base for this?"

She paused, then looked at me strangely. "No," she said.

Hmmm. Awkward moment. OK, she has a blender in her home, but she doesn't have the most important part, the part that blends things. Not only that, but when I ask for the base, she doesn't even have an explanation, like, "Oh! The base, I'm sorry, we accidentally sold it at the yard sale," or "Oh! The base, it electrocuted two people, we don't use it anymore," or something. I mean, who has a blender without a base? What is the point? And when I ask about it, why does she act as if *I* am the weird one? But I am in her home and I don't want to seem ungrateful or rude. And I don't know her that well. So I just say, "Um, OK," and abandon my hopes for a not-disgusting shake. I put the powder in the blender with some water, put the lid on, and self-consciously shake the blender back and forth as one might do with a bottle of juice, trying to pretend like this is what I'd planned all along. She watches me for a moment and goes back to what she was doing before.

Sometime later, I find this out (How, I don't remember. MJ and S must have discussed it and told my brother?):

MJ saw me, standing there with the powder, and when I asked if she "had a base for this," she thought I meant the base for my liquid shake. Like, "Do you happen to have, in your house, the base ingredient for my liquid shake, even though I am merely passing through, you hardly know me, and you didn't know until today that I drink liquid shakes?" Awkward moment for her. Hmmm. What kind of crazy question is that? And how to respond to such absurdity while still being polite? She settled for "No" and a bewildered look. Adding to the strangeness for her was my obvious surprise at her answer. Then I proceed to shake up my drink without actually using the blender. (I think that is was on the counter all the time and I just didn't see it. I don't remember that part either.)

When we each found out the other's side of the story, hilarity ensued. When we saw each other after that, sometimes we would ask the other for a base. But time went on and I don't think we've mentioned it for years.

Eighteen years later (a week ago), MJ asks for my address so she can send us a wedding present. It just came. A blender, base and all.

10 comments:

Dim and Jana said...

Love the story... don't you love communication? Great to keep up on you... glad you are doing well!

Didge said...

Most of all, I love you telling this on yourself. I was waiting for the moment to come where she said that it wasn't actually a blender but a planter or inhaling machine or some other device that one wouldn't put a liquid or powder into. Happy blending. I do remember those shakes...

Gina said...

Now that is funny!!!

Blogball said...

Great story with a happy ending!

I would have thought you were going to use it as a musical instrument and you needed a base guitar to accompany you.

Left Coast Sister said...

I remember your shake phase too. Funny story. Two ships passing in the night, perhaps....

Happy Birthday! said...

Yes, communication is a wonderful thing! Funny that people remember the shakes, so long ago. :) That would have been hilarious, had it not been a blender at all. I am certainly capable of mis-identifying an appliance. I've never been the handiest girl...:) Interesting, isn't it, blogball, how many definitions there are for certain words? As I think about it, base is also slang for crack (or used to be, in the nineties). A basehead meant a crackheard. You're welcome for that crucial piece of cultural enlightenment.

SoozeSchmooze said...

My favorite part of the story is the likelihood of the "base" being right there on the counter in front of you.....hee hee...but in some houses and kitchens it might be hard to find none the less...how
cool that they send you a blender for a wedding present! I betting the shake days on gone..but some yummy healthy fruit smoothies will get you off to a good start...

Happy Birthday! said...

Indeed, the shake days are gone, for SURE. The any kind of diet days are gone! We're permanently in the eating healthy (with some pizza thrown in there for variety) and exercise days now. Yeah, smoothies.

Preben and Ellen said...

Ha Ha! This is an awesome story! I love it!

alleykat said...

really good story lady! I'm glad I found your blog! now I wanna know, who is this lady who gave you the blender, as if you would tell me, who as far as you know could be a total stranger...but I remember Daisy the dog who barked at the mailman.