Overheard at the café while I work:
--Impediment – what does it mean?
--Impediment, like impending?
--Impediment.
--It’s like something that’s about to happen to you.
Asked to me in café by person of dubious health and hygiene and apparent history (and present?) of substance abuse:
Do you have a cell phone I can borrow?
I couldn’t figure out how to answer because I didn’t want to lend her my cell phone, because (this part makes me feel really guilty) I didn’t want her hands on it, which looked really germy, and I didn’t know if she would like steal it or call somewhere that would cost money and because I didn’t really want her to make drug dealing calls on it…in short I didn’t want to lend it to her. But I DID have a cell phone, and it WOULD be possible for her to borrow it, so I didn’t know what to say. It seemed like “no” would be a lie….but then I was rescued by the café worker who told her not to ask people because it makes them uncomfortable…and then I realized that if that happens again and I don’t want to lend it, I can just say, “No,” which means “No you may not borrow it,” not “No I don’t have a cell phone that is possible to borrow.” Whew.
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7 comments:
I was reading your post just now in the toilet (this is pertinent, you'll see) and I called out to my coworker, "do you have a cellphone I can borrow?!" and she shouts back, "Now???!!!" and I roar with laughter, and she says, oh, you're reading Susanna!
Ha! That's hilarious. Hey, I can't read your blog unless I'm invited. I have suspicions as to who you are but I'm not sure. Can you invite me?
Impediment. Impending. CLOSE!!!!
You coulda just said: "I don't want your muggy paws on my cell phone; thanks." Oh, maybe not. That is an uncomfortable kind of situation to be in, for sure. But it isn't bad to want to be careful.
You could have sung to her:” Yes I have no cell phone to borrow” to the tune of Yes We Have No Bananas. Then you are not lying because you are saying yes I do have a cell phone but no you can’t borrow it. Plus if you are singing the answer to her question the lady will think wow I never had anybody sing that to me before and would probably forget she needed to borrow a cell phone and you didn’t want to give it to her because she looks really germy and smelled. So then you wouldn’t have to feel guilty.
she probably just needed to call her sister to bring her some medicine so she could feel well enough to get to the hospital to donate her kidney to her mom before she died so her mom would be able to take care of germy lady's little baby who was going to grow up and be a doctor and cure cancer. but i guess that won't happen now...
wow bryan...good thing we know that you can't stand do gooders... or we might think you were going for the huge guilt trip here...lol
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